5 ways to better handle a see-saw narcissist at work

5 ways to better handle a landsee-saw narcissist at work5 ways to better handle a see-saw narcissist at workHaving a narcissist in your work circle can have you scratching your head and wondering if they like you or are if they manipulating you. Its a guessing game as their messages are often a mix of fake kindness or direct ridicule. Its common for narcissists to see-saw back and forth. When they want you to feel valued they treat you as special, but when you decline their requests or fail to agree with them, suddenly youre on their bad side.Weve asked experts for their take on how to level the playing field to better handle unpredictable, narcissistic coworkers.Recognize their gameIts both confusing and frustrating to feel like youre in someones good favor one day and treated like the enemy the next.But its important to recognize whats going on when youre dealing with a narcissist, says Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do.She recommen ds to take a step back and look at how you as well as other people in the office have been treated over time. The part who is hailed a hero at one meeting might be blamed for ruining the entire company at the next meeting, Morin adds.Dont take anything personallyMorin says dont waste your energy trying to figure out what you did wrong or what you need to do to fix the situation.A narcissist doesnt look at situations the same way you do so your logic wont apply, she explains. Remind yourself that the situation reflects how the narcissist feels about themselves, rather than how others perceive you.When the narcissist feels good, theyre likely to hold you in high regard to others, but, says Morin, the minute they start feeling bad, they wont hesitate to put you down, even when youve done nothing wrong.Resist the urge to win good favorOnce youve cracked the code about what makes the narcissist hold someone in high regard, it can be tempting to try and win good favor. But doing so is a waste of time, Morin says.You wont be held in high esteem for very long, she adds. Its like trying to get ahead in a game where your opponent is cheating. All your effort will only get you so far - and it will backfire in the end.Focus on doing your bestRegardless of whether your efforts are praised or noticed, continue to do your best. Your job isnt to win favor, but instead, its to do your work to the best of your ability, says Morin.At the end of each day, ask yourself if you did your best. When you put your energy into the right place, youll experience less distress about the rollercoaster of emotions that can come with working with a narcissist, says Morin.Realize you cant change themThe one immutable truth when it comes to narcissists is that they cannot be changed, says Matthew Kelly, CEO of FLOYD Consulting, who also has an upcoming book The Culture Solution, published by Blue Sparrow Books to be released in January 2019. The see-saw narcissist at work, turns on and off, i f for you and then against you for two reasons massive insecurity and the lack of object constancy.He or she doesnt actually see you as a real person, but rather as a conglomerate of various people from his or her past and imagination, Kelly says. The bottom line in their mind is you cannot be trusted and are unreliable. The reality is they are unreliable and cannot be trusted.

You can probably have your old job back, 94% of managers say

You can probably have your old job back, 94% of managers sayYou can probably have your old job back, 94% of managers sayWhen companies search for new hires, they can often find no better candidates than former employees.A new Accountemps survey found that 94% of senior managers would consider re-hiring a former employee.In this market, where its so hard to find talent, if youre a hiring manager and youve got a person who left in good standing thats familiar with your culture, familiar with the processes of the organization, and they did a good job for you hiring managers tend to be pretty enthused about bringing back a person like that, Michael Steinitz, executive director of Accountemps, told Ladders.Thats whats makes a former employee so attractive. They know the ins and outs, theyre essentially trained, and you know what youre getting, Steinitz said. Ideally, a boomerang employee somebody who has left a company and then come back is someone you didnt want to leave the first tim e.Expect to go through the same formal interview process that everyone else goes through, not to get in the back door.One of the bigger differences, when youre re-hiring someone, is that youve really got to dive into why the person left the first time, said Steinitz. Potential boomerang employees should be as honest as possible here, so that past problems dont become future ones.However, according to the survey, only 52% of workers were likely to apply for a position at a previous company, citing reasons like unhappiness with management (22%), a badeanstalt culture fit (17%), and unfulfilling job duties (13%).There are a myriad of reasons why former employees left the first time and why they wouldnt be interested in going back Some people dont want to go back to something they already know theyd rather keep moving forward.If youve been offered a position at an old job or are thinking of going back, think hard as to the reasons you left in the first place. If the reason you left cou ld be changed like replacing a bad manager with a new one consider going back. But if the conditions around your departure are still the same, tread carefully.You just have to be very honest with yourself to make sure youre not putting yourself in the same position, Steinitz said.

Forming Partnerships as an Entrepreneur

Forming Partnerships as an EntrepreneurForming Partnerships as an EntrepreneurPartnerships and joint ventures are becoming the way for smallbusinesses to move to the next level. As consolidation increasingly characterizes manyindustries, many smaller companies are riding upon the coattails of larger companies.Joining forces with a well-known company gives your business instant credibility and agreat springboard from which to market. Remember that partnerships often begin with personal relationships andmove on from there. People want to do business with their friends and other individualswith whom they are comfortable ? gotta schmooze. But even with these personalrelationships, you have to bring something to the table to make a partnership worthwhile.As an entrepreneur, you will often have to give up more than the larger company does inorder to form a partnership with a better-known company. But it?s well worth theprice to be able to associate your company with an industry leader.As a start to forming partnerships, find businesses that complementyours and try and establish a working relationship with them. Frequent industry shows,schmoozy networking parties, and any other distributionspolitik you think will give you a chance to meetcontacts. And build your circle find out who your friends can put you in touch with.Try to get to know these secondary contacts on a personal level before you jump intosuggesting partnership ideas. Take them out to breakfast or lunch to discuss what?sgoing on with their business. Even if you are not able to form a partnership, this personmay refer you to individuals who may want your product or service.There are myriad ways to form fruitful partnerships. Try a dualpromotion. Or offer their brochures in your stores. Put a link to their store on your website. Even a small way of recognizing the other company will create the opportunity forbigger things down the road.